The dead blog that came back to live!!

Goodness, my last post was last October.. Seriously I have left this blog dead for too long.. Haha.. Guess it's time to start it up again.. However I really can't think of anything to post at the moment. So here is just a little update since last October.

Currently in my 4th year Term 2 of my MBBS Course, with another exam looming next week.. I've passed most of my papers from my 1st CA, failed one but I still thank God that I am able to sit for finals.. University is just bad as usual, so many lecturers leaving, I have no idea what the management is up to and Jaya food is well, being Jaya food.. And they can ask why so many students are leaving the hostel.. Get the hint already!!

Christmas was awesome, our AIMST CF Christmas Gig was a success again, all glory to God.. Chinese New Year was even more awesome despite the dwindling amounts of ang pau.. XD And I found a new hobby, posting pictures of food.. Haha.. Sound like your typical Malaysian but somehow it brings me joy to be able to share good food with the world.. And now I even have a group of friends who are 'torturing' each other with good food.. LOL!!

Seremban has grown a lot, lots of new shops, new hangout places, yet it still retains the slow pace live that most of us lack these days. Sungai Petani has a new mall, Amanjaya Mall and a few new shops opened.. So much has changed in the 4 years that I've been here.. Haha..

CF and Church (SPCC) has really grown, praise be to God.. The new committee has been formed, officially indicating my 'retirement' as P of the CF.. I really thank God for an awesome team, for the amount of changes our CF has gone through, new ideas that have been success and I pray that more will happen.. Church members have steadily been on the rise.. I'm now one of the student leaders there and even the assistant worship leader.. If you asked me when I first got here would I even be in the worship team I'll be like NEVER.. However God has a funny way of using us, and here I am guiding the juniors as I myself prepare to move on to Alor Setar..

Apart from that, I made new friends from the medical conference I attended back in September, hope to attend many more, missed out on the world in US because the cost became too high.. There's one coming up in April and another one in September, really hope I can attend these two to make up for the one I missed..

I guess that's a brief update on me for the past 6 months.. Until then.. =D

Wanna kill yourself? Think again..

Came across this article as a status post as one of my friend. A very good read. =)

Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you've written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. 

A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. 

The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. 

It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn't know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn't stop for days. 

It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn't know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried… your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mum got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. 

People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you. Copy and paste this as your status to show people there are people out there that care. Yes, I definitely care. =)

So before you guys decide to go killing yourself, think about it for a second the effects it can have on your family, friends, colleagues, etc. That's the message for today. God bless you all!! =D

The Truth Hurts

Sometimes the truth can really hurt. However you prepare yourself for it, you just can't take it when it really strikes you. Somehow, somewhere, that's a part of you inside there that might just 'die' or a wound is open and it takes a long time to heal.

Let's take a look at the Kubler-Ross model. It is a theory that was proposed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross on the 5 stages of grief. There are: 

a) Denial

b) Anger 

c) Bargaining

d) Depression

e) Acceptance

Sounds familiar? Now the above is usually applied in a context when a person receives news that he/she is going to die from a terminal illness. Naturally, the person will deny the fact, thinking it's a joke or a dream. When denial can no longer continues, anger kicks in. The person can be angry at himself, at others, at the world, at God. The third stage comes in when the individuals hope he/she can postpone the inevitable, maybe trade something for extra life (figuratively speaking). Depression sets in when the person is faced with the harsh reality that they are really going to die. They begin to isolate themselves from the world, refuse friends and family visits, etc. And the last of all is acceptance. Here person comes to term of his/her death and is prepared to face it. The person accepts that he/she can't do anything any longer and is prepared to embrace death with open arms.

Now u all may be wondering. How did I diverted from the truth to something to do with  grief? If you ask me, I would answer I see a link somehow with our daily lives. In the Kubler-Ross model, the truth is receiving the bad news, the point of no return. Similarly, in our lives when we received a bad news, someone has died, your parents got a divorce, you had bad results or your bf/gf decides to dump you; we basically go back to the same cycle. 

We wouldn't believe it at first, thinking it all as a fairy tail. After that we get angry, most likely at the person or at life, depending on the situation. Bargaining will probably not suit in here but if say your partner decides to end the relationship you'll probably try to ask for an extra chance or to give it another go. If that fails that's where you enter into the depression; isolating yourself, it's you against the world kind of situation. Now here is the scary part, you can either get out of depression and accept the cold hard truth or you simply stay in depression forever which will affect you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The key point here is knowing how to get out of the depression stage, if not your whole life is going to end up in a mess.

Acceptance. A human physiology. A person's assent to the reality of the situation without making any attempt to change it. Once you have accept the truth, it means two things. You believe that nothing you do can change the reality of the situation, most likely going to blame yourself or something or someone for the mess that you are in OR you have simply decided to move on.

And the same applies for me. When I finally found out the truth about something, I went through the same ordeal as above, except the bargaining part because I knew it was pointless. Yet I had parents and friends to console me and above all God is there to show me His great plan for me. I may have miss out this time, I may not know the real plan installed for me but I am damn sure not going to let it get at me. I'll rise up and move on and wait patiently on the Lord as He install His plans into my life. And yes, this is a continuation of some sorts from my previous post. So yeah, thank you everyone for helping me and  also taking time to read this super long not so epic post. XD

Went through a similar situation? Willing to share out? Leave me a comment or share it in my cbox. Let us help one another and learn from each others experience. =)

P.S. I leave you with a little humour on the 5 steps of grief/denial. =P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBlIoCzzvbg

Not my will but Yours be done

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42

This was the very prayer that Jesus prayed on the Mount of Olives before he was arrested that very night. We can see that Jesus was as very human as we all were, probably going through the fear of dying or the intense suffering that he must endure in order to save mankind from the sins they have committed.

Sometimes in life we also go through similar situations, that we find it too much to bear, too difficult to strive forward, too tiring and burdensome. However, we must always be reminded that it is God's will that needs to be done. He brought us into this Earth for one purpose, that is to do His will. And of course to obey His every command and to carry out The Great Commission.

There were at times I wonder, what am I really doing here? Or when things don't go according to my way I'll be asking "Why is this happening to me?" Recently a friend of mine told me something that probably I wish it wasn't true but it is the very opposite of it. And there I was thinking "God, what is your plan for me? I've waited patiently and the answer that I received wasn't one I was hoping for." Yet after thinking through and talking to my parents, it is probably the best decision for now. I still have many more years ahead of me, there would be plenty of opportunities for such things to happen. Maybe God is telling me now is not the time for you to do such things and it probably will be done in the future.

A good friend of mine advise me, "It is not our will, but it is always God's will that needs to be carried out." Not easy, I admit for sometimes God's will is a tall order. Yet by His strength we shall endure every trial that comes in our way. Thus I shall continue what I am doing now, and whatever will He wants me to carry out. God's plans is always good, it won't conform to what we want but it will benefit us in the future. It's something that I'm still learning and still trying to do, even thou I feel disappointed and sad at times but I know all this is for the final race for God.

Glory be to God on high. Amen. =)

A vy late update for year 2011.. =p

Every time I tell myself I'll update this blog of mine, it never happens.. I'm getting lazier and lazier by the day to do anything, to update blog, to study, to eat at times.. Yeah, can't believe it right?? To eat.. Haha.. Seriously, sometimes I don't even go down for breakfast and dinner, just stay in the room only.. XD

Anyhow, the past year (and yes, this is a super late post) has been one with ups and downs.. In a way, I was glad that most of the events that I managed was a success.. My proudest one is the AIMST Hosteller's Nite 2011.. Being the chairman for an event for the first time is really really tough, hectic and whole lot of scary.. You have to deal with so many people, meet so many deadlines and so forth.. The planning, preparation, getting funds, getting the appropriate contacts.. However, all praise and glory to our Lord, for He was good and He ensured everything went well that night.. And of course a BIG BIG THANK YOU to all my committee members who toiled sweat and 'blood' to make it a success..

Christmas Gig last year was also another highlight. .First time in campus, first time with such a large audience.. Praise be to God!! Not forgetting Mega Cultural Night 2, International Medical Quiz, CF Retreat and loads more.. Passing my Year 2 was of course a big relief.. 7 subjects over the span of 3 weeks.. Scary.. Haha.. And lots and lots of other goods stuff which will be too much to be noted down..

Of course it's not a year without sorrows too.. The year I broke up with my gf.. The year where a few of my seniors finally graduated and I really miss them all.. T.T The year where many shit also happened, to myself, my family, my friends, my country.. However in all things I believe God is always ever present in our midst of troubles and sorrows.. And thanks to Him, I have become a stronger and better person.. Still learning everyday thou.. =)

MBBS 3rd Year is a year where I think I'm enjoying the most, and still am.. Haha.. Which is soooo not good.. =p It's fun to see patients and all but no fun when you have to read lecture notes and finish up log books.. And sit for exams.. Stress wei stress.. Haha.. I really hope I learn much more and cure my laziness in the process.. Do keep me in prayer yeah.. =p

Current status: Coughing + running nose but on the road to recovery.. Tons of notes to study, backlogging since last year + log books to complete..

So yeah, till next time.. =D

Clueless to what to blog..

Hey readers, what do u want me to blog about?? LET ME KNOW!!! XD

I guess my caption says it all.. Seriously I'm having some kind of blogger's block.. LOL!! This blog has been running for the past 4 years, more or less.. And I'm surprised that it stayed like this that long.. When I began to blog I was like OK, this will probably last a few months before I give up totally on it.. Well, that doesn't seem to be the case cause my blog just kept picking up.. At my peak I was doing 10-12 post a month.. LOL!! That's like a post every 3 days.. I know, my life sucks doesn't it?? LOL!!

On another hand, looking back at all the old post showed me how much I have grown up in these last 3 years.. From being a Upper 6 student when I began to a 3rd year Medical student now.. Wow, time really flies doesn't it?? Hehe.. I just wish I still have the will to carry on blogging.. Sometimes I just feel like letting it die a slow, painful death but I couldn't.. This itchy fingers of mine need to type at least once a month.. Haha!!

Probably I should go back blogging about random stuff, like how I used to in the beginning. U know, the economy, the politics in Malaysia, the never ending fight of religions in this country.. Oh btw, a peaceful gathering organised by HIMPUN was held in Shah Alam Stadium against proselytizing by Christians.. Interesting to note that such gatherings are allowed while things like Bersih 2.0 (which is trying to speak the truth against the gov) is wrong.. Double standards or is it because of the stance of this country?? I leave it all to you to judge.. =p 

Until something interesting sparks my mind to go become a chipmunk under the influence of alcohol, my blog will stay quite dormant for a while.. Also, you all can comment to what you want me to blog about and I'll try my very best to fulfill them.. =D Till then, toodles!!

Who is still reading??? =S

I dunno what to post here.. LOL!! Like no more mood to blog anymore.. Plus I dunno if anyone still reads my blog.. Oh hey, there's something to post..

IF ANYONE IS STILL READING MY BLOG, COMMENT IN THE CBOX OR COMMENT THIS ENTRY; THEN AT LEAST I WILL KEEP U GUYS UPDATED.. IF NOT THEN THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG IS POINTLESS ALREADY.. XD

Terima kasih.. =p

About Suffering..

Would like to share with you all something I shared with my CF mates last Thursday.. I hope u all will find this beneficial.. =)

WHY DOES GOD ALLOW SUFFERING?

1) What kind of suffering that exist in today’s world?

- We see suffering on a global scale – Natural disasters, floods, famines, earthquake

- Community tragedies – World Trade Centre 9/11, accidents, tragedy at work places

- Individual levels – Bereavement, sickness, depression, broken relationships, persecution

2) Why God allowed suffering?

- Suffering is not part of God’s original created order (Genesis 1-2)

- No suffering before humanity rebelled against God

- There will be no suffering when God creates ‘a new heaven and earth’ (Revelation 21)

- Suffering entered because of Adam and Eve sinned.

- Why God allowed it?

i) Because he loves us and wanted to give us free will

ii) Love is not love if it is forced, it can only be love if there is a real choice.

iii) God gave freedom of choice in the beginning, men and women from the beginning has chosen to break God’s laws and the result has been suffering.

3) What causes suffering?

- Our own sins? Inevitable consequence of breaking God’s law. God comes down and judge people

a) The Great Flood (Genesis 6-8)

b) Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19)

c) Individual sins. Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira – Sold land but kept portion of money for themselves and lied to God. (Acts 5:1-11); King David's "sin" with Uriah and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11-12)

- Not all suffering resulted from sin

a) Jobs and Joseph

b) Jesus repudiates the automatic link between sin and suffering ( ¹ As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. ² His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”³ “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.) [John 9:1-3]. Jesus also pointed out that natural disasters are not necessarilya form of punishment from God (Luke 13:1-5)

c) Peter draws a distinction between suffering as a result of our own sin and suffering which has no connection with our sin or suffering “for doing good”

(For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. ²⁰ But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.) [1 Peter 2:19-20]

- Sin of others?

a) War, famine, man-made disasters

b) Murder, theft, rape

- Sin of a fallen world?

a) Adam and Eve’s sin – only a small proportion. It was their result that “thorns and thistles” entered the world (Genesis 3:18)

- We shouldn’t judge others for their suffering “When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7)

4) God works through suffering

- Suffering is used by God to draw us to Christ

- God uses suffering to bring us to Christian maturity – uses it to build our characters. ( ¹⁰ Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.) [Hebrews 12:10-11]

- To make our lives more fruitful – Jesus said that as a gardener prunes the vine, so God prunes every fruitful branch ‘so that is will be even more fruitful’ (John 15:2)

- People who suffer, who toil, have their eyes on God

- God often uses suffering to bring about his good purposes – Life of Joseph – not easy to see God’s plan early on but it will be revealed later on

5) God more than compensates for our suffering

a) Joseph

- God was always with Joseph (Genesis 39:21), regardless as a slave in Potiphar’s house or in prison. In the end he was put in charge of the whole land of Egypt and he managed to see his entire family reunited and rescued from starvation.

b) Job

- Loss everything, wealth, all his children and finally suffering from the most horrific disease. In the end blessed him with great wealth, 7 sons and 3 beautiful daughters, lived a great age and saw his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren

c) God has given us so many promises and how wonderful heaven will be.

d) Martin Luther once said “I would not give one moment of heaven for all the joys and riches of the world, even if it lasted for thousands and thousands of years”

6) God is involved in our suffering – the cross is the proof. God was ‘in Christ’, reconciling the world to himself. He became one of us; he suffered in all ways in which we suffer. He does not just know about suffering – he has suffered himself. He knows what we are feeling when we suffer.

7) How do we respond to suffering?

- We ask ourselves questions. Book of Job is not so much about why God allows suffering but how we should respond to it.

a) Is this suffering a result of our own sin?

b) What is God saying to us through this suffering?

c) What does God want us to do?

- NEVER LOSE HOPE, KEEP OUR EYES FIXED ONTO HIM

- If we see others suffering, the most positive thing we can do is to put an arm around the person and ‘weep with those who weep’ “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” (Roman 12:15)

In summary, we need to come back yet again to the cross of Christ. For it is here that we begin to understand why a God of love should allow suffering

1) Firstly we see that human beings abused their God-given freedom when they choose to nail Jesus to the cross. And yet God used that very abuse, enabling Jesus on the cross to pay the price for that sin, and for all sin through all time.

2) Secondly, we see God working through suffering. Those who nailed Jesus to the cross intended it for evil, but God intended it for good. The cross is ultimately a victory because it holds the key to salvation.

3) Thirdly, we see that God more than compensates for suffering. Jesus ‘who for joy set before him endured the cross’ (Hebrews 12:2) saw ahead of his resurrection, and as a result of that, to our own resurrection and eternity with him.

4) Lastly and most important of all, we see that God himself is not removed from suffering. He participated in the suffering of the cross and he suffers for us and with us now.

The Praying Hands

Many of us would have seen the picture of “The Praying Hands”, also present in many Christian homes, but would almost certainly not have heard the moving story behind this popular picture.

Here is the story.

THE STORY BEHIND THE PICTURE OF THE PRAYING HANDS

Back in the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg, lived
a family with eighteen children. Eighteen! In order merely to keep food
on the table for this mob, the father and head of the household, a
goldsmith by profession, worked almost eighteen hours a day at his trade
and any other paying chore he could find in the neighborhood.

Despite their seemingly hopeless condition, two of the elder children,
Albrecht and Albert, had a dream. They both wanted to pursue their
talent for art, but they knew full well that their father would never be
financially able to send either of them to Nuremberg to study at the
Academy.

After many long discussions at night in their crowded bed, the two
boys finally worked out a pact. They would toss a coin. The loser would
go down into the nearby mines and, with his earnings, support his
brother while he attended the academy. Then, when that brother who won
the toss completed his studies, in four years, he would support the
other brother at the academy, either with sales of his artwork or,
if necessary, also by laboring in the mines.

They tossed a coin on a Sunday morning after church. Albrecht Durer
won the toss and went off to Nuremberg.

Albert went down into the dangerous mines and, for the next four
years, financed his brother, whose work at the academy was almost an
immediate sensation. Albrecht's etchings, his woodcuts, and his oils
were far better than those of most of his professors, and by the time he
graduated, he was beginning to earn considerable fees for his
commissioned works.

When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer family held
a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht's triumphant
homecoming. After a long and memorable meal, punctuated with music and
laughter, Albrecht rose from his honored position at the head of the
table to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice
that had enabled Albrecht to fulfill his ambition. His closing words
were, "And now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn.
Now you can go to Nuremberg to pursue your dream, and I will take care
of you."

All heads turned in eager expectation to the far end of the table where
Albert sat, tears streaming down his pale face, shaking his lowered head
from side to side while he sobbed and repeated, over and over, "No ..no
...no ..no."

Finally, Albert rose and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He glanced
down the long table at the faces he loved, and then, holding his hands
close to his right cheek, he said softly, "No, brother. I cannot go to
Nuremberg. It is too late for me. Look ... look what four years in the
mines have done to my hands! The bones in every finger have been smashed
at least once, and lately I have been suffering from arthritis so badly
in my right hand that I cannot even hold a glass to return your toast,
much less make delicate lines on parchment or canvas with a pen or a
brush. No, brother ...for me it is too late."

More than 450 years have passed. By now, Albrecht Durer's hundreds of
masterful portraits, pen and silver-point sketches, water colors,
charcoals, woodcuts, and copper engravings hang in every great
museum in the world, but the odds are great that you, like most people,
are familiar with only one of Albrecht Durer's works. More than merely
being familiar with it, you very well may have a reproduction hanging in
your home or office.

One day, to pay homage to Albert for all that he had sacrificed,
Albrecht Durer painstakingly drew his brother's abused hands with palms
together and thin fingers stretched skyward. He called his powerful
drawing simply "Hands," but the entire world almost immediately opened
their hearts to his great masterpiece and renamed his tribute of love
"The Praying Hands."

The next time you see a copy of that touching creation, take a second
look.

LET IT BE YOUR REMINDER,

THAT NO ONE -

NO ONE - EVER MAKES IT ALONE!

Earth Hour 2011

Earth Hour has always bear a special resemblance to the world ever since it started in Sydney, Australia back in 2007. I was glad that I was able to do it with my family for the first time cause:

1) 2008 missed it caused was out eating steamboat

2) 2009 missed it caused was dead sick on the bed

3) 2010 missed it cause I was in campus.. LOL!!

So finally got my parents to turn off all non essential lighting at home + any other electrical appliances that we don't need.. Means I went without computer for an hour.. Haha.. Achievement wei considering I'm back home.. During that one hour was really a period of reflection for me as I picture how can the whole Earth be saved if each of us just do a small part.. And I figured why just make Earth Hour a yearly event? Why not an everyday event? Hehe.. Kinda make sense rite?? Imagine if all non essential lights are turned off everyday, won't that really save up the electricity bill, the amount of heat we're emitting and thus saving the Earth? =p

Also in conjunction with Earth Day, I'm working with my old school on a project that can at least bring some joy for Mother Earth.. She has been long suffering, so we should do something to ease her pain.. Back to the drawing board Jason.. =S

Lastly, I figured out TNBs way of contributing to Earth Hour.. By making my taman have a blackout for 4 hours.. Right on midnight.. LOL!! Turns out a substation blew at my place.. Can't sleep wei, damn hot.. Best part is I slept without realising the current finally came back.. Woke up shivering cause the air cond was on.. LOL!! I guess my bro forgot to turn it off when the current went off.. =p

Will be a busy few days as starting to meet up with my frens.. And a camp coming up.. Hopefully a few more updates before I go back AIMST.. Hehe.. =D

The End of Our Days?

For the past week or so, the topic that has been most talked about is "Is the end of days really coming??" Now after the Japan Earthquake + Tsunami + Nuclear Disaster, it had got people scrambling around, going hysterical and crying to God, "Is our time really up??"

Further evidence?? Earthquake in Christchurch, NZ; floods in Australia; riots going up all over Middle East with Yemen the latest to join in and now I just read this, an 6.8 magnitude earthquake out in eastern Myanmar.. So what can we make from all these? The world is going to end? 2012 is really coming.. Hey, if 2012 is really coming I won't mind quitting my course now and go out to the world for sight seeing before I'm dead.. =p

To me, the world world will never end.. Come on, it's been here for 5 billion years, it will be for another 5 billion more.. What will probably end is the human species.. Our planet has a habit of getting rid things that have been here for too long.. Example?? Dinosaurs.. Hey, humans have not been here that long!! Hello!! We have been speeding up our process of getting extinct.. Pollution, war, development, destruction.. Dinosaurs didn't do any of those but here we are doing all those that's destroying the earth.. Not knowing we're destroying ourselves..

Another way to see it is us humans love stopping mutation.. U see, when one species is facing extinction, what does it?? Mutate.. Evolve.. Roaches and lizards have done that over millions of years.. Yet for us, when we see a mutation, a different, we say its genetically related, we cure it, we stop it.. It's different, we can't accept different.. How do we know that the changes that we are preventing could be the very thing that save us in the future?? Now I know many of u would think "Hey, your studying the very thing that is against what your saying here" Yeah, probably I'm a hypocrite but it's my two cents.. =)

Regardless, personal opinion, I seriously don't think mankind will end in 2012.. It'll end one day but not next year.. However a major change might occur that will wake us up.. Probably 2012 will be the final warning for us.. So many signs have been given to us.. If we fail to wake up, then we are really heading towards to our doom.. God saves us all, God give us strength to face the challenges that we are going through every day.. AMEN!! =)

WATCH OUT!!

UPDATE COMING SOON!! SINCE IT'S MY HOLIDAYS I'M GOING TO BLOG BLOG BLOG!!! XD

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!!

Hello 2011!!

OK, I'm late like 2 days but who cares.. It's still young in the year.. And before we all know it, 2012 comes along.. Haha.. But let's leave that till Dec'11.. For now, let us enjoy the year ahead.. =)

I'm back in AIMST again.. LOL!! To some ppl, yes, my holiday is really really short.. In fact, my finals break will be only 3 weeks.. So yeah, kinda sucks but no choice when ur in the line.. Hehe.. Part of me is glad to be back cause I get to go back to studying the thing I love.. And also can to c her.. Hehe.. Part of me just wanna stay at home, sleep whole day, play Dota and yam cha.. LOL!!

So usually people always make new year resolutions don't there? And we probably break the same number of resolutions that we make.. LOL!! So what's mine u all may ask?? None I guess.. To me, why make a resolution for a year only? Why not make one every month? Or every week? Like not procrastinate, be a better BF, a better son, worship God more, etc? So yeah, no resolutions for me, I'll be trying to improve myself daily..Hehe..

New Year in S'ban was kinda boring, no fireworks, no celebrations, no nothing.. Cutting budget I think.. So yeah, all I get to see was personal fireworks.. The one that goes bang, boom for 30secs and that's that.. LOL!! So was a modest 2011 so far for me.. Not for long thou, with the new CNS system coming up in my medicine studies, I'll be busy as a bee.. Or worse.. Haha..

So there u have it.. Nothing much to update.. And probably not much in the future as I begin classes again.. Hopefully the next update is not so far in the future.. LOL!!

An end to 2010..

Finally the last day of 2010 has arrived.. And it's with great sorrow and joy that I bid farewell to 2010.. Sorrow cause well, there are somethings which I wish I could do but couldn't.. Joy? Oh simple, always look forward towards the future.. XD

So many things happened in 2010.. So many happy and sad memories.. So many trials, struggles, victories and accomplishments.. So much things to pen down but I think my memory is failing me.. Gosh, I sound like im 200 than 20.. Hehe.. Last time round I did a month to month summary.. This time I guess I'm just going to highlight a few points that has really brought the real meaning of the year to me.. =)

FIRST - GOD

Coming to AIMST was probably the best God-guided decision I have ever made in my entire life.. I met new people, people who were so devoted to God, people who really touched my life and really brought me back to Him.. I wasn't a devoted Christian.. I belief in God and all He has done but as to serving Him, helping Him to expand His kingdom I was close to zero.. In AIMST, I met people who really inspired me.. People like Thomson, Victor, Anna, Gloria and so many more, people who I look up to and I'm "WOW, those are great people!" And it's those people that brought me closer to God, that help me grow deeper for Him, to work for Him, to accomplish for Him.. And for that, I am really thankful that this year, it has been one great experience.. =)

SECOND - FAMILY

My family has gone through a lot over the years.. Many secrets that I shall not reveal here, they will probably go down with me.. =) And again I thank God for looking after my family, pulling us through 1 more year.. And to my family, my Dad, Mum and Nelson.. A big thank you to you all.. I can never repay all of your kindness, your sacrifices for me.. Especially my parents, to sponsor me to uni is a big task.. That is one thing I can never never top up..

THIRD - HER =)

At the end of February I got into a relationship with this wonderful, cute, amazing girl in my batch.. She's everything that I've ever wanted.. It was like she was tailored for me.. Hehe.. And I nearly lost her once, because of my attitude, because of my behavior.. And I promise never to repeat that same mistake that has nearly cost my relationship.. 10months have now gone between us and things with us are so much better.. Thank you darling for always being there for me, helping me through all the troubles I'm in and for loving me for who I am (minus the flaws.. XD) I really hope that this love can go on forever for I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!! BLEK!!

FOURTH - FRIENDS

I made a lot of new friends in campus, strengthen old ones and cherished the lost ones.. My friends are my one source of joy, happiness and comfort.. And the many memories with this bunch of people are the ones that keep my belief in them.. I'm grateful for all of them, for those who helped me, for those who advised and guided me.. Thank you all.. =)

FIFTH - PASSING MY FINALS AND OTHER EXAMS =)

This goes without saying that it's one of the highlights of the year.. Medicine is a tough course and if you don't strive, you will not succeed.. Thus I thank God, my family, my darling and my friends for guiding and helping me through the toughest times of my life.. And passing it is one thing, getting some good results is another.. Everything that has happen is a blessing.. And with this I shall move forward and achieve my dream to be a doctor.. XD

SIXTH - FUN

Thank you 2010 for all the memorable memories I have, all the fun I had with family and friends.. CF Retreat, my huge birthday celebration, Genting and Penang trips, dates with my darling, outings and randomness with those people.. Haha.. All those are cherish-able memories locked in my brain forever.. =D

SEVENTH - FOR EVERYTHING ELSE

Like I said, my memory is failing me.. There are probably 365 different things to write down and I can remember like 20-30 of them.. Haha.. So for all those things that are missing from here, I just wannna say THANK YOU!!! Whatever you are.. (lameness to the max wei.. another thing I picked up this year.. LOL)

So that's probably the summary for one entire year.. Ain't going to start writing an essay here.. Haha.. So this is Jason, signing off from a great year and eagerly awaiting the coming one.. In about 22 hours that is.. Hehe.. ^^

1 week gone, another to come.. =)

And how have your Christmas been people? =)

Once again, another year bids us goodbye, while another is going to say hello.. 2010 is leaving, 2011 is coming.. And well, I guess the next post after this will be about my summary of the year 2010.. Hehe

The 1st week of my holidays is pretty quiet.. OK, not that quiet since my relatives came down for a week but pretty boring as in I was on the lappie most of the time? LOL!! I really need to find a better way to spend my life instead of sitting in front of my laptop 24/7.. Haha.. Hopefully this week will be better since i'm having tons of yam cha sessions.. LOL!!

Apart from that, I haven't started my Special Study Module (SSM).. What in the world is this u might ask?? Say it's another fancy word for assignment.. Haha.. Basically we do a report, dunno how long about things that we probably won't learn in medical school.. It doesn't have to be medically related, it's just a study/survey/experiment on stuff that you like.. LOL!! And what am I interested in? Male menopause.. Wakaka.. Something rather interesting, since it might affect me in the future!! Haha!! Probably will post it up once I'm done.. XD

So very little update from me.. Actually a lot but I'm lazy to type it out.. Plus most of them are personal, if it's not me, it's my friends, family, etc.. So until the next post.. =)

3 systems down, WTH!!

It's holidays people!!! TEEHEE!!!!

Well, I got back from AIMST yesterday and Seremban hasn't change one bit.. OK, the new Tesco Extra is running, the building near T2 has gotten taller and er.. Nothing else? Oh yeah, that old abandoned building in Kemayan Square has been cleaned, guess NS is dead serious about getting that city status.. Haha.. Until those 2 buildings go together with the Aedes pond, it'll be a long way.. XD

I was looking back at the year, 2 more weeks before the year ends, before 2010 bids goodbye and 2011 makes its appearance.. In 4 months since my 2nd year began I've completed 3 systems namely Cardiovascular, Respiratory and Gastrointestinal.. 3 systems in 4 months!! 3 freaking exams together with an extra uni paper in 4 months!! WTH!!! It's like time passes by super fast.. Now I'm halfway done with 2nd year, the next system going to be Central Nervous System.. Gosh, 18 lectures in the first week itself; I'm going to go bonkers..

That aside, things for me has been pretty good lately.. My relationship is improving.. Had a nice date with her before I went back, it was birthday.. So HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DARLING!!! BLEK!! Things around campus has improved too.. Slowly I can see changes coming about in campus, hopefully this won't stop.. Serving God is always a joy.. The Christmas night was held in my campus, a first wei.. Hopefully that is a sign of salvation into my campus.. XD And the CF Retreat is coming up in Jan, followed by a few events like Hosteller's Night and Mega Cultural Night.. Going to be busy busy busy.. In the CNS system.. Wat the... -.-"

Back home, my relatives came down for a week.. My bro is missing thou, off to camp.. His results are coming out, I'm more nervous than he is.. Haha.. AND, I GOT A NEW HANDPHONE!!! Well, not that new actually, it's a second hand from my cousin, but who cares.. A major upgrade compared to my old one..

INTRODUCING THE SONY ERICSSON W890i

Yup, that's my new toy for now.. 3.2megapixel camera, 9hours talk time, 3G, up to 4GB memory; it pretty much have everything that I wanted.. Best thing is it's free!! XD So yeah, I'm like a young boy given some new toy.. Yeah yeah, bunch of u are thinking i'm a hypocrite right now as I always condemn SE, but hey, when it's free u gotta take it.. Still not changing my stance thou, NOKIA FOR LIFE!! XD

That's enough wordy updates for now.. Time to hit some Dota, FIFA 11 and catch up on some series I've been missing.. So as they say, EXIT, STAGE RIGHT!! Chao ppl!! And HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! XD

Random..

Something interesting I found on my friend's blog that I've decided to share with you all.. I think it kinds of most relationship issues that's going on today.. =p Long story short, basically a guy's and gal's point of view of an incident..

Her Side of the Story

He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn’t say anything much about it.

I don’t remember doing anything to make him upset, but I could tell there was something wrong. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately.

We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried, what did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me?

I tried to cheer him up, but started to wonder what was bothering him. Was it me or something else? I asked him if he was upset with me, and he said “No”.

But I wasn’t really sure.

So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him, and he just put his arm around me! I didn’t know what the hell that meant because, you know, he doesn’t say it back or anything.

We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to break up with me! Why didn’t he want to talk about this? So I tried to ask him about it, but he just switched on the TV. Why would he rather watch TV than talk to me?

Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep, hoping he would get the hint that I was upset and wanted to talk. I was so hurt that he was out there watching TV while I was in here going through emotional turmoil.

Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex.

I thought that maybe he would open up after we shared an intimate experience like that, but he still seemed really distracted. So afterward, I just wanted to leave because I was so upset, but I just cried myself to sleep.

He didn’t even notice how upset I was! I don’t know, I just don’t know what he thinks anymore. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I’m on emotional overload. I’m so confused. I don’t think he loves me anymore.

Why does he have to play mind games with me? I mean, do you think he’s met someone else???

His Side of the Story

MU lost. Felt kinda tired. Got laid though.

You make the conclusions.. XD