Monday, April 16, 2012

The Truth Hurts

Sometimes the truth can really hurt. However you prepare yourself for it, you just can't take it when it really strikes you. Somehow, somewhere, that's a part of you inside there that might just 'die' or a wound is open and it takes a long time to heal.

Let's take a look at the Kubler-Ross model. It is a theory that was proposed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross on the 5 stages of grief. There are: 
a) Denial
b) Anger 
c) Bargaining
d) Depression
e) Acceptance

Sounds familiar? Now the above is usually applied in a context when a person receives news that he/she is going to die from a terminal illness. Naturally, the person will deny the fact, thinking it's a joke or a dream. When denial can no longer continues, anger kicks in. The person can be angry at himself, at others, at the world, at God. The third stage comes in when the individuals hope he/she can postpone the inevitable, maybe trade something for extra life (figuratively speaking). Depression sets in when the person is faced with the harsh reality that they are really going to die. They begin to isolate themselves from the world, refuse friends and family visits, etc. And the last of all is acceptance. Here person comes to term of his/her death and is prepared to face it. The person accepts that he/she can't do anything any longer and is prepared to embrace death with open arms.

Now u all may be wondering. How did I diverted from the truth to something to do with  grief? If you ask me, I would answer I see a link somehow with our daily lives. In the Kubler-Ross model, the truth is receiving the bad news, the point of no return. Similarly, in our lives when we received a bad news, someone has died, your parents got a divorce, you had bad results or your bf/gf decides to dump you; we basically go back to the same cycle. 

We wouldn't believe it at first, thinking it all as a fairy tail. After that we get angry, most likely at the person or at life, depending on the situation. Bargaining will probably not suit in here but if say your partner decides to end the relationship you'll probably try to ask for an extra chance or to give it another go. If that fails that's where you enter into the depression; isolating yourself, it's you against the world kind of situation. Now here is the scary part, you can either get out of depression and accept the cold hard truth or you simply stay in depression forever which will affect you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The key point here is knowing how to get out of the depression stage, if not your whole life is going to end up in a mess.

Acceptance. A human physiology. A person's assent to the reality of the situation without making any attempt to change it. Once you have accept the truth, it means two things. You believe that nothing you do can change the reality of the situation, most likely going to blame yourself or something or someone for the mess that you are in OR you have simply decided to move on.

And the same applies for me. When I finally found out the truth about something, I went through the same ordeal as above, except the bargaining part because I knew it was pointless. Yet I had parents and friends to console me and above all God is there to show me His great plan for me. I may have miss out this time, I may not know the real plan installed for me but I am damn sure not going to let it get at me. I'll rise up and move on and wait patiently on the Lord as He install His plans into my life. And yes, this is a continuation of some sorts from my previous post. So yeah, thank you everyone for helping me and  also taking time to read this super long not so epic post. XD

Went through a similar situation? Willing to share out? Leave me a comment or share it in my cbox. Let us help one another and learn from each others experience. =)

P.S. I leave you with a little humour on the 5 steps of grief/denial. =P

1 comment:

Candesse said...

Stage 1 : Omfg! This can't be true... I'm out of bacon? I'm sure there's still some of it at the back of the fridge. Or maybe some leftover. This can't be it. I know this isn't true...

Stage 2 : How the F**K am I supposed to survive without bacon, huh?! huh?!! Who the F**K finished my bacon! F**k!! S#lT!!! I'll kill you!! I'll *bleep bleep bleep*

Stage 3 : Okay, maybe... Maybe if I replace it with some luncheon meat, it should be the same right. Maybe I'll just have to cut it thinner. Maybe I won't even notice the difference if I eat with my eyes closed

Stage 4 : Why?! Whyyyyy... Why is this happening to me? Of all the people in the world, why is it me? Why do I have to run out of bacon? Life is meaningless. Please... Someone... End my misery... Stab me right at the heart with a ladle!

Stage 5 : I guess 1 day without bacon isn't that bad