Sometimes God can make u realize things that you think it's so small and insignificant, you think it's not even worth bothering about.. Wrong mentality I would say..
You know, at one point I was so depressed during my hospital postings that I thought I wasn't cut it out for medicine.. Cuz everything that the lecturer ask or tell, I have no single clue.. That was this one time where I felt like a complete idiot that I thought to myself; "Hey, this is not my calling, I can't even answer simple question let alone go out there and cure patients in the future." I literally had that thought running through my head and it was shit scary..
However, God sort of reminded me why am I here in the first place.. It was yesterday, just another ordinary day at the hospital.. Going around clerking patients, hoping to find a good case and present it well.. And somehow I found joy again in what I was doing.. Everything just went write yesterday, sought off, from the clerking to answering the questions to actually seeing the patients.. The feeling was like "Wow, yeah this is what I want to do." Immediately, I snapped out from my depressed mode and back to my normal self.. And I begin to understand what is being taught in the lecture (actually, I've started reading my lectures, that's why.. LOL!!) and that make things easier..
So leave it to God to decide your path in your life.. Sometimes you might think it is not meant to be but God has a bigger plan for you in your life that you just don't see it yet.. I guess I caught a glimpse of it already.. I pray that I would be able to pull through it, after all God wouldn't put you in a situation that He knows you can't handle.. Thank you God for waking me up, again.. Amen..
"Cast all your anxiety over Him, for He cares for you" 1Peter 5:7