Monday, April 16, 2012

The Truth Hurts

Sometimes the truth can really hurt. However you prepare yourself for it, you just can't take it when it really strikes you. Somehow, somewhere, that's a part of you inside there that might just 'die' or a wound is open and it takes a long time to heal.

Let's take a look at the Kubler-Ross model. It is a theory that was proposed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross on the 5 stages of grief. There are: 
a) Denial
b) Anger 
c) Bargaining
d) Depression
e) Acceptance

Sounds familiar? Now the above is usually applied in a context when a person receives news that he/she is going to die from a terminal illness. Naturally, the person will deny the fact, thinking it's a joke or a dream. When denial can no longer continues, anger kicks in. The person can be angry at himself, at others, at the world, at God. The third stage comes in when the individuals hope he/she can postpone the inevitable, maybe trade something for extra life (figuratively speaking). Depression sets in when the person is faced with the harsh reality that they are really going to die. They begin to isolate themselves from the world, refuse friends and family visits, etc. And the last of all is acceptance. Here person comes to term of his/her death and is prepared to face it. The person accepts that he/she can't do anything any longer and is prepared to embrace death with open arms.

Now u all may be wondering. How did I diverted from the truth to something to do with  grief? If you ask me, I would answer I see a link somehow with our daily lives. In the Kubler-Ross model, the truth is receiving the bad news, the point of no return. Similarly, in our lives when we received a bad news, someone has died, your parents got a divorce, you had bad results or your bf/gf decides to dump you; we basically go back to the same cycle. 

We wouldn't believe it at first, thinking it all as a fairy tail. After that we get angry, most likely at the person or at life, depending on the situation. Bargaining will probably not suit in here but if say your partner decides to end the relationship you'll probably try to ask for an extra chance or to give it another go. If that fails that's where you enter into the depression; isolating yourself, it's you against the world kind of situation. Now here is the scary part, you can either get out of depression and accept the cold hard truth or you simply stay in depression forever which will affect you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The key point here is knowing how to get out of the depression stage, if not your whole life is going to end up in a mess.

Acceptance. A human physiology. A person's assent to the reality of the situation without making any attempt to change it. Once you have accept the truth, it means two things. You believe that nothing you do can change the reality of the situation, most likely going to blame yourself or something or someone for the mess that you are in OR you have simply decided to move on.

And the same applies for me. When I finally found out the truth about something, I went through the same ordeal as above, except the bargaining part because I knew it was pointless. Yet I had parents and friends to console me and above all God is there to show me His great plan for me. I may have miss out this time, I may not know the real plan installed for me but I am damn sure not going to let it get at me. I'll rise up and move on and wait patiently on the Lord as He install His plans into my life. And yes, this is a continuation of some sorts from my previous post. So yeah, thank you everyone for helping me and  also taking time to read this super long not so epic post. XD

Went through a similar situation? Willing to share out? Leave me a comment or share it in my cbox. Let us help one another and learn from each others experience. =)

P.S. I leave you with a little humour on the 5 steps of grief/denial. =P

Monday, April 2, 2012

Not my will but Yours be done

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42

This was the very prayer that Jesus prayed on the Mount of Olives before he was arrested that very night. We can see that Jesus was as very human as we all were, probably going through the fear of dying or the intense suffering that he must endure in order to save mankind from the sins they have committed.

Sometimes in life we also go through similar situations, that we find it too much to bear, too difficult to strive forward, too tiring and burdensome. However, we must always be reminded that it is God's will that needs to be done. He brought us into this Earth for one purpose, that is to do His will. And of course to obey His every command and to carry out The Great Commission.

There were at times I wonder, what am I really doing here? Or when things don't go according to my way I'll be asking "Why is this happening to me?" Recently a friend of mine told me something that probably I wish it wasn't true but it is the very opposite of it. And there I was thinking "God, what is your plan for me? I've waited patiently and the answer that I received wasn't one I was hoping for." Yet after thinking through and talking to my parents, it is probably the best decision for now. I still have many more years ahead of me, there would be plenty of opportunities for such things to happen. Maybe God is telling me now is not the time for you to do such things and it probably will be done in the future.

A good friend of mine advise me, "It is not our will, but it is always God's will that needs to be carried out." Not easy, I admit for sometimes God's will is a tall order. Yet by His strength we shall endure every trial that comes in our way. Thus I shall continue what I am doing now, and whatever will He wants me to carry out. God's plans is always good, it won't conform to what we want but it will benefit us in the future. It's something that I'm still learning and still trying to do, even thou I feel disappointed and sad at times but I know all this is for the final race for God.

Glory be to God on high. Amen. =)