Dreams...

 I dreamt.. Of a wedding.. 

In that dream, it was me.. and her.. and our families.. in a small church.. just among families.. I cannot recall if there were friends around, but I have already planned that if I am to invite people, it will be those close to me.. Very close..

As you grow older, you noticed your circle of friends get smaller. And that is the reality, that when you are at your lowest point; only a handful of friends are willing to check on you and make sure you are really well. The vast majority becomes like leaves, move along as they are blown by the win, maybe occasionally stopping by to say "Hi," but never long.

Do I crave for love? Do I wish that I have a second chance? Have I overthink so much until I dream about the wedding, a second chance. Can I even have another wedding in church after my first has failed? Will the church even accept? These are questions are so difficult to answer, yet I wish someone can answer them.

Can I have a future with her? Would it be even possible? Or would I end up second best again? So many of time I have ended second best, even my previous I have somehow ended second best. Am I destined to be single for life? Never to know the feeling of having a child running in my house? I do not know, I do not have the answers.

I dreamt of a wedding.. And sometimes, I wished that is the reality..