September.
The very word of this month, really scares me.
It has been 2 years in a row, where both my Septembers are terrible. Last year was the beginning of the end of my marriage and the whole month I was struggling with my mental health, weeping every night, sleeping on the floor, bathing with cold water.
All the time when I was putting on a fake smile and happiness for the world to see.
I thought this year, at least, the month of September would have been a bit better. Or so I thought.
Those who stumble across my blog know how shitty it has been, and it probably hurts a whole lot more cause the person who helped me through last September is slowly drifting away this September.
Despite, all the apologies, somehow I think the hurt is way more deeper. Cause I trusted again, and let my heart and my own self to be hurt again before I could fully heal.
Not to mentioned, state maternal mortality, shit work, covering people's assess, and so much more eff up situations happening.
"Wake Me Up, When September Ends"
Green Day's song release in 2005 was about Billie Joe Armstrong's father who died in September 1982. It could be interpreted in many ways.
And for me, it is cause of the shit that I have to endured for the past 1 year.
I really can't wait for September to end, and I do not look forward to another September.
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