The End Is Near

I began to reflect on myself, on why I reacted so badly to the things that has happened, to the recent week.

And then it dawned upon me, the beginning of the end of my marriage was the lack of communication. And somehow the end of eating together, where that is the best time we had to communicate about each other day and activities to one another.

I felt somehow, that is was slowly slipping away. I probably had more meals alone, then with her throughout this entire trip; and that was probably why I reacted so badly. I mean, I am already eating and cooking alone here, so when I went over, somehow, there was an expectation.

People always say, expectations will lead to disappointments. And they are not wrong. When an expectation is not fulfilled, it will lead to disappointments, and unhappiness, and frustrations. And all this will spillover, making the entire experience unpleasant, and leads to one hurting another, and both parties suffer as a result of it.

My own expectations, is what probably led to the deterioration of what we had, and my spontaneous nature, probably led to more problems, dilemmas and conflicts rather than happy thoughts.

I know she has found her happiness, good people to help her heal, and she has surrounded herself with people who will notice when she's down, or upset, or if anything were to happen to her. 

And I guess that was my role, to fill in temporarily until she has healed and moved on. And moving forward, I should probably learn how to let go so that somehow, she will be free and happy. And that is what is important to me. Her happiness.

I read a quote, not all relationships are meant to end on a happy note. Sometimes they just end, because the target has been achieved, it does not need to end in happiness, for it to be meaningful.

Reflecting on, this is probably what is happening. It was something meaningful, now it is probably the beginning of the end.